Where No Profiler Has Gone Before
by PinkAngel17
Summary: The BAU's finest are about to step into the Final Frontier...of marathons. Three-shot.
1. Morgan

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, I don't own any of the Star Treks, I don't own the characters…at this rate I'm not going to own anything.

A/N: This is just a simple three-shot dedicated to any 'profiling trekkies' out there who may run across it. Thanks to Marauder-In-Disguise and BonesBird for inspiring my muse! Oh, and the title was inspired by DaughterofAres! When I started I didn't intend for there to be any pairings, but like most of my fics, a little bit of M/G has snuck itself into the story. By the time it's finished there will be appearances by each member of the team though. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Why am I doing this again?" Derek Morgan asked as he carried a bowl of popcorn and a tin of macadamia nut cookies over to the coffee table in front of his sofa.<p>

"Because you love me." Penelope answered with grin and a few blinks of her eyelids as she grabbed his hand and pulled him down onto the sofa next to her.

He couldn't argue with that. He did love her and any attempt to disagree would simply fall flat. Besides he knew full well that all she had to do was look at him with those big brown eyes and he'd cave to her every whim. Of course, she didn't need to know that. Though, judging by the mischievous glint in her eyes when he finally leaned back against the sofa, she was probably already very much aware of the power she held over him.

Instead of arguing he simply lifted his arm so she could snuggle into her designated spot at his side that she had claimed many years ago. He let his arm rest behind her neck and around her shoulders, his hand dangling just below her shoulder blade. This wouldn't be so bad, not as long as he was spending time with his best friend and as long as she was smiling and laughing then he was happy.

"Okay, we have popcorn, cookies, drinks…" Emily said as she entered the living room with a pack of beer and a liter bottle of soda. "grapes for at least one healthy food item, and Reid's got the plates and glasses." She added just as Reid walked into the room with his assigned items. "I think we're all set."

"Prentiss, it's a movie marathon, not a formal ceremony of the united trekkies." Morgan said with an amused half smile.

Emily narrowed her eyes, reached over and grabbed a throw pillow off the recliner, and then threw it at him. He laughed, easily catching the flying ammunition and then throwing it at Reid who had just sat down on the other side of Penelope.

"What was that for!" Reid exclaimed after the pillow hit him in the side of the head.

"Making sure you remember to stay on your side of the couch." Morgan answered, sending the boy wonder a obviously fake warning look with a pointed glance down at the woman curled up against his side.

Reid smirked at him and was about to respond, but Emily choose that moment to turn on the TV. "Which series should we start with?" She asked, moving over to the DVDs piled on the end table.

Reid and Penelope glanced at each other before answering simultaneously. "Original."

* * *

><p>Six hours, three pizzas, and an almost broken lamp later they were all still sitting around Morgan's living room watching <em>Star Trek<em>. "Two alphas, two dominant personalities, shoved together on a single ship and he willing becomes her subordinate?" Morgan stated disbelievingly as he watched the Captain of _Voyager_ talking with her First Officer.

"Well, Morgan, it's because she's actually superior to him in every way." Emily teased with a smirk. "Besides…" She added, glancing at Penelope with a wink. "He probably likes serving _under _her, if you know what I mean."

"Those two? They're sleeping together?" Morgan asked curiously, studying the television screen a bit closer.

Emily and Penelope shared another knowing look before answering. "Not _yet_."

"Uh huh…" He said, nodded slowly. He'd actually seen some of the _Original Series _and _Next Generation_, but _Voyager_ was new to him. "What about Tommy boy and what's her name…the half-Klingon?"

"Well, my astute lump of chocolaty goodness, those two will eventually get married and have a mini Paris and B'Elanna hybrid all their own." Penelope answered, looking up at him with twinkling eyes as if she found the whole concept incredibly adorable.

"Shhh, this is the good part!" Reid hissed, grabbing a handful of popcorn to munch on as they looked back at the television just in time to see Captain Janeway leveling her opponent with a phaser rifle.

Morgan raised an eyebrow, barely hiding his amused chuckle. As the scene switched to show the Captain and the Vulcan officer standing in her office he looked down at Penelope whose head was now resting leisurely against him. "Do you want a little Paris and B'Elanna hybrid of your own, Baby Girl?" He whispered teasingly, though the tinge of seriousness might have given him away a bit.

Penelope looked up at him, propping her chin on his chest as she smiled adoringly at him. "I would rather have a Morgan and Garcia hybrid." She whispered back, eyes glimmering with nothing but love and mischief.

"I think that can be arranged." He murmured slyly as he pulled her closer, his hand traveling down her back. "But we better get started." He leaned down, just barely brushing his lips against hers as he spoke and was about to close the gap…and then a swarm of popcorn was hitting the side of his face.

"You two can make mini Morgan and Garcia hybrids later." Emily stated firmly, but with a smile. "Preferably when Reid and I are far away and out of the danger zone. Until then, it's time for another episode." She added with a smirk before tossing the episode list into Penelope's lap.

Morgan laughed, throwing a few pieces of wayward popcorn back at the other profiler while Penelope and Reid discussed which episode to watch next. Once the next disc was put in the player they settled back to watch. But, even as the image of Janeway getting a rather…rough looking osteopathic massage from the Doctor filled the screen, all Morgan could think of was what a mini Penelope would look like and if she would be as much of a trekkie as her mother.

* * *

><p>AN: So what do you think so far?


	2. Rossi

Disclaimer: I still don't own Criminal Minds, Star Trek, or anything else even remotely recognizable. I just shove them all into a room to see what happens.

A/N: Chapter two! Time to throw in a couple more team members.

* * *

><p>"This is all your fault." Rossi stated gruffly, taking a long sip from the coffee cup securely held in his hand.<p>

"Me? How is this my fault?" Morgan asked with indignation and amusement lacing his voice as the two profilers watched Emily and Penelope verbally sparring about whether Kirk or Picard was the better captain.

"You're the one who insisted this would _fun _and you're the one who helped that so called 'innocent' tech kitten talk me into letting you use my house for this…Trek-a-thon. I could be having a leisurely Saturday with a bottle of scotch, my typewriter, and a game of football playing on the TV, but then you and your little posse had to come and invade my home!" The older man exclaimed, grumbling something like 'damn trekkies' as he took another swig of coffee.

Morgan smirked, decided not to point out the amused looking half smile that Rossi was attempting to hide behind that cup or the fact that he had caught the man stifling a laugh when JJ started using Reid as 'popcorn target practice'.

"Kirk is…Kirk! He _is_ the Captain of the Enterprise." Penelope exclaimed, once again drawing Morgan and Rossi's attention to the two women sitting on the floor in front of them.

"Kirk is a womanizer! He sleeps with just about every female who even blinks in his direction." Emily battled back, picking up a chocolate chip cookie and taking a bite.

Penelope rolled her eyes, grabbing her own cookie before responding. "But he's a legend! He's the original Captain of the Enterprise. Even Jean-Luc Picard thought he was amazing! Besides, Kirk had Spock as a First Officer. How can you beat Spock."

"No one can beat Spock." Emily agreed while shaking her head. "But Kirk would've been lost without him. Besides Picard had Riker…" She added then made a disgusted look and shook her head again. "Never mind, bad example."

"Very bad example!" Penelope said between bursts of laughter. "Talk about womanizers!"

"This conversation is irrelevant." JJ stated, straightening up in her chair and getting a mock serious look on her face. "Janeway is obviously superior to them both."

"Janeway!" All three woman exclaimed while raising their glasses in the air with grins plastered on their faces.

"Oh dear Lord, this is going to turn into a mutiny, isn't it?" Rossi muttered, eyeing the three over sugarfied woman suspiciously. "Who's Janeway, anyways?" He asked, glancing over at Morgan who was laughing at both him and the women.

"Who's Janeway?" Penelope suddenly exclaimed, obviously having better hearing then he gave her credit for. "Did you just ask who Janeway is?"

"I was the _Original Series _generation, sweetheart." He stated, raising his glass in salute.

"Janeway kicks ass." JJ informed him with a smirk as if that was all he needed to know.

"Who apparently sleeps with her First Officer." Morgan added, winking at Penelope as he did.

"Sleeps with her First Officer…" Rossi repeated a bit confused. He'd certainly never heard that one before!

"Well, it doesn't technically happen on the show, but if you read between the lines…" Emily explained.

"Oh, I see…"Rossi began, getting a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "You mean like the two love birds in the room who should have gotten together upon first contact but wasted years by not doing so and then when they finally got off their butts they didn't think we'd notice. But of course, we're profilers who can 'read between the lines'." He stated, sending smirks to Penelope and Morgan who just smiled back.

"Yep, basically." Penelope answered casually and then made a kissing gesture at Morgan who winked back at her suggestively.

"Okay, I'm back. One cheese pizza, two meat lovers, and a mushroom." Reid announced as he came into the entertainment room with four boxes of pizzas. "Did I miss anything?" He asked looking towards the television.

"Not yet, but you will if you don't sit your pretty boy butt down so we can finish this episode." Morgan teased with a smile as Reid flopped down in the floor next to JJ's chair.

"Shhh, Spock's about to start his 'seven year cycle'!" Penelope hissed as the scene with Spock throwing a bowl of 'Plomeek soup' at the wall filled the screen.

Rossi sighed and looked down into his now empty coffee mug. At this rate he was going to need a whole pot of coffee just to keep himself sane. "Any request while I'm up?" He asked as he stood and started towards the kitchen. "I'm getting more coffee."

"There's coffee in the nebula." Penelope stated distractedly while simultaneously reaching for a slice of pizza and keeping her attention on the television as well.

Rossi quirked an eyebrow as he stared down at the woman who seemed to be 70,000 light years away from Earth at the moment. With a shake of his head and an amused smirk he'd never let Morgan see, he continued his journey to the kitchen in search of something caffeinated.

* * *

><p>AN: Two down, one to go. How did you like this chapter? Review please!


	3. Hotch

Disclaimer: I've said it once, twice, and now three times….I don't own Star Trek, I don't own Criminal Minds, and if you recognize it the chances are I don't own that either. Now on with the show!

A/N: And here's the final chapter with the last remaining team member. Thanks for reading, alerting, favoriting, and for all the awesome reviews! I hope you've enjoyed this little story!

* * *

><p>"Pass the popcorn." Hotch requested as he and the rest of the team lounged around his living room.<p>

Rossi reached for the bowl that Reid was passing over from the lounge chair and handed it to Hotch. "I still say a bottle of scotch would make this go by faster." He muttered, getting a raised eyebrow from Hotch.

"Why exactly are you here?" Hotch asked with an amused smirk just barely tilting the corner of his lips upwards.

"I was conned into it…again." He answered, grabbing a handful of popcorn and a swig of his beer.

"Oh come on, my Italian stallion. Admit it, we've converted you into a trekkie." Penelope teased, glancing briefly over her shoulder and the arm that Morgan had resting around her shoulders.

"You're becoming certifiably insane, Garcia. You might want to lay off the caffeine for awhile" Rossi rebutted, getting a scuff from Morgan.

"Who needs caffeine when I have a delectable chocolate god of thunder I can nibble on anytime I see fit." She stated innocently before leaning over and taking a gentle nip of Morgan's neck.

Morgan smirked, getting a playful look in his eyes as he leaned over and started nuzzling Penelope's neck while making soft growling noises.

"You two are going to make me barf." Emily said, not actually looking away from the television.

"Would you like me to get you a barf bowl, sweetie?' Penelope asked, with a minx like smile.

"Shush!" Reid exclaimed, flapping a hand in their direction. "Sisko is about to meet Kirk!"

"I like Sisko." Hotch stated casually, reaching for his glass of peach lemonade. "He's a good leader."

"Ha! I knew he'd say that!" JJ spoke up from her spot on the love seat sofa next to Emily.

"I really thought our illustrious leader would go for Picard." Penelope murmured from the middle of the floor.

"Picard had his advantages, but Sisko was always a more political leader." Hotch stated, taking a sip of his drink. "Besides, he was in charge of a space station and had a son at the same time while the other Captains didn't have children. Except for Kirk, but he didn't know he had a son."

At that statement the room went quite, every eye trained on the impassive BAU leader sitting stoically on the sofa. "O-M-G!" Penelope finally exclaimed after a few seconds of continued silence. "Hotch is a closet trekkie!"

"I prefer the term 'trekker'." He stated, with a raised eyebrow and flash of amusement in his eyes as the corner of his lips twitched upwards.

Another moment of silence descended on the room and then uncontrollable laughter exploded all around. Hotch remained sitting stoically, periodically sipping his drink and giving the room's occupants a half smile as they kept laughing and, in some cases, nearly falling over from the action. And that was how the BAU's monthly _Star Trek _marathon began. The FBI would never be the same again…

* * *

><p>AN: Yes, I have had conversations like these before. Yes, I am as certifiably insane as Garcia. Okay, now I have to ask...does anybody want to see tribbles invade Rossi's office?


End file.
